she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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