would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
