How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sober January is a disaster.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
