Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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