Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
