Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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