he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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