I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
