thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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