Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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