Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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