are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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