her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
