Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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