Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize