There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
