I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
