I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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