Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You work out of a Hotel?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
