My nipple is on Facebook.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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