I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
