I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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