I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
