I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
