whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize