Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
