it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
