Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
