my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize