if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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