You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
