is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize