What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
