Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
