i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
