I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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