Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
