what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
