I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
