He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
