let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
