fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So much rum. So many feels.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
