Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
