Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
