you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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