Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize