guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
