he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
