And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
