College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
