So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
