Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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