shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
