Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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