problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
