I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
