and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
