you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize