sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
