Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
