Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
