they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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