i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
