dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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