btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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