On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
