Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Still dying that you shit outside
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
