Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
