she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
