Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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