do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize