Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
