Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
