my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
