in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
