Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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